Posts Tagged ‘fertility treatment’

SO… here I am day 5 of my brand new role as Fertility support coordinator for the London Women’s clinic and its been an amazing few days on so many levels .

A bit of background needed though first in that this is a role I have been in negotiations regarding for quite some time and in many ways is a continuation of the work I have been doing from home .

 Except that I don’t have to empty the dishwasher here and don’t have a cat permanently trying to sit on my keyboard …

The clinic is a fantastic one and I have had many clients come here over the years and report back encouraging things .

I think as a clinic they really are trying to move away from people feeling like they are on a conveyor belt to  being really listened to and supported through treatment

( “ I am not a number “ I hear you cry !! ) .

 Which is where my role fits in as Fertility support coordinator .

I am here to see clients individually , to run a support group and set up new workshops on such issues as stress management and coping when treatment fails .

I am also here for people to just drop in on and let off a bit of steam . And steam there often is during treatment …

Basically it is a role I am chuffed to bits to be doing and one which I hope will make a  difference to patients welfare .

So thats the overview ..here are some of the highlights from these last few weeks ..

• Met a lovely young lady about to sign up as a donor because she had been moved by reading of the need for egg donors out there . What a fantastic thing to be doing , and what an inspirational route to be taking to help others

 

• Met up with the rest of the staff here and again amazed at the great work they are doing . From the receptionist who always makes an effort even at the busiest of times to the VERY hard working nurses  , these people really are making a difference .

 

• Managed to brave it into to the staff room ( felt about 12 yrs old !) to meet members of staff ..all very friendly and supportive and managed to regain composure enough to feel 36 again ..

 

• Written various pieces for the LWC  magazine

 

• Met several new patients in waiting room and office for quick chats all at various stages of treatment . Peoples stories and paths to parenthood never cease to move and inspire me . And to remind me that we are not alone in our fertility issues .

 

• Set up plans for a new support group here at the clinic to be started and launched in next few weeks …

 

• Had large physical battle with the tea machine in waiting area and WON …1-0 to me in the battle to make a decent cuppa …YESSS !

 

More than anything I have realised again the enormity of what people face when going through infertility . The daily sadness , mingled with hope , determination and resolve . And realised again the sheer number of people facing this issue .

There is such a lot of support out there . from places like the London Women’s clinic , to the Wonderful work of INUK ( www.theinfertilitynetworkuk.com ) , to the great people using Twitter to raise awareness and comprehension .

Though lonely and frustrating there is help and support to be found .

I hope to be a part of that help and look forward to what the next few months and years will bring .

All best wishes

Anya

Fertility support coordinator and champion of the Tea machine at the London Women’s clinic

Christmas to me is such a mixed time of the year and in many ways always has been . There is so much I love about it and yet there is such pressure and striving for perfection . So much to be thankful for , and yet if there is any sadness Christmas seems to only amplify this .

Going through Infertility at Christmas also will be for many , at best a mixed experience , at worst a truly difficult time of year .

I can offer no easy solutions but here are some thoughts as to how to survive this Christmas ..

1) Realise that it is completely normal and understandable that this Christmas may be a challenge .You are not being a scrooge , just a normal person with normal feelings !

2) Remember that you are not alone . Thousands of people in this country will find this season with all its emphasis on family to be pretty tough going . Also remember that other people may also be findng it tough for other reasons . It is not true that every other family is enjoying a “perfect ” Christmas …honestly !

3)Be proactive and plan ahead . So many of the emotions around infertility are to do with a lack of control . Anything you can do , especially at this time of year to regain control is a useful thing .

So look ahead . Are there parties you feel you ought to go to and that may be difficult . Give yourself a break and if neccesary arrange to meet friends one to one .

Maybe do some of the shopping online so you dont get swamped by yet another Santa and thousands of children .

Think of what is coming up and cut yourself some slack !

4) Have a quick answer for all those friends /relatives who may ask questions about when you will be starting that family . you may feel like going into details with auntie Marge over the sherry but if not maybe a quick ” we are working on it ” , or ” I have a great team of people helping me on that one ..!” will suffice

5) Be extra generous to yourself this year . Realise that this is tough and give yourself the rewards you need to keep going . Be that an extra mince pie or a present for yourself .

6) Keep in mind it is only a few weeks of the year and then life goes back to normal in January ..

My hope for you all is that you find ways through this season and that there are moments to enjoy even in the midst of a difficult situation

very best wishes

Anya

Infertility is Tough . It hurts more than you can ever imagine , affects every area of your life and takes you on a journey that quite frankly you dont remember ever opting to start on .

(It is often in fact described as a rollercoaster , but surely there are moments of fun and elation a bit more frequently than on the rollercoaster of fertility treatment …!)

New research has indeed found that a person experiencing infertility faces an emotional stress point reading akin to Cancer or Bereavement .

It is NOT much fun .

My own journey through the maze , the path , the rollercoaster the …whatever other metaphor fits ..lasted over Six years , five rounds of IVF , thousands of pounds and odds of 1 in 125,000 of ever conceiving even with A.R.T . Excellent !

During that time I did everything I could to help myself from Acupuncture to eating Pine tree bark ( my husbands favourite moment I think ! ) .

But mostly I tried to do everything in my power to not let this thing win over my life . To not let Infertility define me .

Some days were easier than others . Some days I wanted to scream repeatedly that it wasnt fair .

Some days I DID scream repeatedly , and it WAS’NT fair !!

During this time I retrained as a life coach and began to notice just how helpful the training was for me personally . It felt like a breath of fresh air and allowed me to feel a little more in control , and a lot more like the old me .

And thats exactly what I am priveledged to do today . To sit with people ( or stand if they need to do  bit of pacing !) and acknowledge the crapness , the unfairness and the normalness of feeling this way . While working on ways to support to resource and  find ways to keep going .

As my tagline states Fertility coaching ultimately comes down to two things . finding ways to

regain control and restore hope .

Best of luck to you all

ANYA