Christamas , Channuka , Mothers day ,Valentines day , celebrate national squirrel day ( ok made that one up …) Specifically designated days and celebrations can be hard when we are not in the place we would want to be in life .

I dont know about you but it does seem to be that every celebration day in the year has become a much larger , much glossier version of how I remeber it being when younger .

I was told recently for example that Valentines day now sells nearly as many cards as the whole of the Christmas season put together .Thats a lot of awful cards with wistful looking teddy bears on the front and a lot of £1.00 roses being bought .

We can find ourselves on all of these days feeling completely the odd ones out , the ones left out of all the fun being had by EVERYONE else . And yet here in lies the danger , as such assumptions are rarely right .

You are not alone in finding this day tough , or even just ok . days like today are often a mixture of emotions for more people than we realise .To admit this would certainly mean a few less cards bought , but maybe a whole load more sighs of relief heard .

Instead take the time out on “celebration ” days to be kind to yourselves . And on valentines day to be kind to your partner if in a relationship .

Infertility stress often taints many areas of our lives and thus its fine to just muddle through , rather than put on the happy face . To be happy if you are feeling happy , and certainly on a day like today to hold onto your partner extra hard .

To remember the couple that you still are outside of all this baby making wierdness .

But to borrow a phrase from the Psychologist Winnicott , its ok for today to be a ” good enough ” day , rather than a ” perfect one “.

And maybe when we can allow ourselves the space and honesty to be just as we are this Valentines day , we may actually find ourselves having a much better time of it than we had hoped …and that has to be a good attitude to all the other days of the year too .

Best wishes

Anya